Click here for Part 1
Before we move on to part two, I want to say thank you to those of you who have shared your story with me. The response to my first post has been overwhelming. I feel so grateful that this is an opportunity for people to open up and receive healing in their worlds. Even if it’s just because they got to talk to someone about it. Please know, you are not alone in this. Many woman have had much harder journeys then I have and by hearing your journey it’s shown me the strength of a woman’s heart to keep trying. To me, I have realized the miracle of life.
It’s a weird thing trying to convince your other half that you’re pregnant. It’s an even weirder thing trying to reassure them you’re ok when you are no longer pregnant.
For a month I went through the giddy (by giddy, I mean nauseous) highs of thinking that Dave and I were about to start a family, down to the strong pain I felt when that wasn’t going to be the case. In saying all that, I am so very grateful for what I went through.
A lot of people (myself included) have said that they would love to get pregnant just to know what it feels like. Well I was “lucky” enough to experience those feelings with only a small insight into what it may look and feel (oh, and smell) like. Let me just say, how your friends describe it… yep, that’s what it feels like. Exciting? Yes! Worth waiting for until you’re 100% certain that it’s not just the feeling you’re after, but you are wanting to have a family no matter what the feeling or experince may look like? Definitely!!
I have been given the opportunity to address my “woulda, coulda, shoulda” thoughts and turn them into actionable items that I know I really want to accomplish before starting a family. Some of those things are quite trivial; like going to the dentist for a full clean and check up (call me strange, but I LOVE that dentist clean feeling and will go through the trauma of all instruments, drills and feelings to get it). Some are more important than that; like making good on a commitment of starting a 12 month internship at my local Church (which by the way involved an awkward conversation with my new boss: ‘Thanks for the offer, I am looking forward to starting next week, oh by the way… I might be pregnant.’—eek!). All in all this event really got me thinking about such things. I am profoundly grateful that now I can get these things under my belt before my belt buckle starts to expand.
Although I thought I knew what my journey would look like—you know, conceiving first go, text book pregnancy and labor, happy child that grows up strong and healthy—the fact of the matter is that I have no idea. Especially now that Plan A didn’t go according to plan. Truth is, it’s not a problem: my strength comes from God. When I found out I wasn’t going to be carrying another little being for the next 9 months, all I heard in my spirit was God saying “Trust Me”.
For me, trusting God means that if the next time Dave and I try to concieve and it happens right away, then that is God’s perfect timing. Trusting God also means that if the process takes a lot longer, with many more challenges and nothing like what I expected, then that is still His perfect plan and timing.
For any woman or couple, this can be a very emotional time. Whether planned or unplanned, easy conceptions to alternate options like IVF or years of trying. Whatever your journey, remember that God wants to say to you “Trust Me.” It’s His plan and His timing. Are you willing to Trust Him?