What to expect when you’re NOT expecting… anymore. (part 1)


What would you do if you found out that your life was about to change–drastically? Would you want to go back in time and re-live some missed opportunities, or would you face this change head on and embrace it for all it’s worth?

For Dave and I, it looked as though things were about to change. We’ve had many discussions about wanting to start a family, we just didn’t know how soon it was all about to start.

I have walked the pregnancy road with enough friends now to know that each woman’s journey is very different. Some friends, it seemed as though their husbands/partners only had to look in their general direction and they were pregnant. Once, twice… three times. For others, it’s been an emotional, burdensome, faith journey where after years and years of trying and IVF treatments they have finally welcomed the blessing of a child into their lives. Others still have had absolutely no success and instead opted to adopt.

Last month was a crazy time for me. Emotionally. Physically. Mentally. I had every sign and symptom that I was pregnant. That feeling of exhaustion that doesn’t even make sense to describe because it feels unwarranted. I mean, how can producing a few extra cells and blood really make you that tired!? Physical discomfort as parts swelled, bloated, ached and hurt. That sweeping sense of nausea that can make a walk around the neighborhood feel like a lap around a sewerage treatment plant situated inside the city dump and your gag reflex is working overtime. Yup, you name it, I felt it.

It’s actually quite amazing how long a month can feel when you are waiting desperately for that first moment possible when you can take a pregnancy test and confirm your suspicions. Who knew peeing on a stick could be such a highly anticipated event!

During this time however, I was listening to my inner thoughts and what they were saying. On the one hand I was thinking how amazing and great it will be to have a baby, and how amazingly quickly its come about–lucky me! (To be honest, I was thinking that God knows me too well and He would be willing to bless me with a baby first time ‘trying’ because as if I could wait more than one month! I am not that patient!) While on the other hand, I had many regret filled “woulda, coulda, shoulda” thoughts of all the things I wanted to do before getting pregnant.

For those of you with kids, I’m sure many of you would’ve had these exact same thoughts when you found out you were expecting (planned or unplanned). Yet, nine months later you had a baby in your arms. You might have never imagined it possible nine months prior, but now you wouldn’t change it for the world!

However, my story ends differently to that. This may also be the story that you share as well. Unfortunately my pregnancy didn’t get past one month. In fact it could hardly be called a pregnancy, really. But through this it has been an amazing soul-searching adventure that I would love to share with you.

What would you do if you knew your life was about to change? Would you keep living life as you are doing now? Day in, day out? Or is there something that you keep putting off thinking “I’ll do it one day”? What if you don’t get that “one day”?

As I share my story, I hope it encourages you to make the most of each new day.

Continue to Part 2


2 thoughts on “What to expect when you’re NOT expecting… anymore. (part 1)

  1. wow girl, i had no idea. sounds like you have had an incredible and heart wrenching adventure these last couple months. praying for you…thank you for this genuine and beautiful post.

  2. Pingback: What to expect when you’re NOT expecting… anymore. (part 2) | amberkuhn

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