My heart said what I wanted to say

The other day, Dave and I were going for a drive just to catch up and hang out. He has been so flat out starting a business that at times he must wonder if it’s really worth it? He has been putting in crazy hours, dealing with the highs and lows that each new day brings. He has taken care of 3 redwood trees worth of paperwork to get a US company set up and to be honest I watch him and I am in awe of the amazing job he is doing. It takes someone talented, dedicated and faithful to do what he is doing, and he seems to be doing it brilliantly.

As a wife of an entrepreneur, it’s sometimes hard when due to the business’ demands the relationship becomes a far away after thought that grasps tightly to the few moments you get to capture when the stars align, the winds blowing the right way, the moon is blue and you are there, just the two of you… alone. These moments can sometimes be daunting. Thoughts that run through my mind is how do I make the most of this rare moment?

As Dave and I were cruising down the 101 the other day, it dawned on me: This precious moment shouldn’t just be about the facts and events that have occurred since the last time we caught up. It’s about sharing my heart’s thoughts that sound weird coming out sometimes, but create a bond together in such a short amount of time. Here I was talking about my mundane things that had filled my week. How I had cleaned the house, unpacked some boxes from our move and completed my uni assignment. But then a heart thought interrupted my run sheet of facts. What my heart wanted to say was ‘Dave, I think you’re doing a really good job, and I am proud of you. I know this is a time where time is lacking, thoughts other than work are few, but thanks for being my Husband and making this time out of your mayhem so we can spend some time together.’

Too often in the past I held back from saying something like that because my first thought is ‘well he already knows that’ and secondly ‘it sounds kind of cheezy’ (yes I am not the best person when it comes to affection).

However, when those words from my heart came out of my mouth, not only did Dave’s face light up and chest went out, I felt that bond that was created, that although sometimes I feel as though I am an after thought, I really do love this man and it’s these precious moments together are worth it.

Do you have a spouse like this? Does it sometimes feel like your time together is as foreign as meeting a stranger? Although it can feel strange, make the most of your time together.

What does your heart want to say? When is a time in your relationship that you decided to let your heart do the talking? What did you find happened for you and your relationship?


Silly Passionate Lovers

Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.
– Rose Franken 

You may have experienced love like this before. As you read this quote, you probably have a stupid grin on your face like I do, as you think about all the weird, quirky and silly things you share with your loved one.

Today I found myself in an amusing situation. A friend asked me “How did I come up with a ‘pet’ name for Dave?” There was an awkward silence as I thought…”How did I come up with that name?!”, and then all the memories came flooding back of the day that one word just ‘stuck’ and didn’t go away. We laughed about it, thought it was cute and wham! A ‘pet’ name was created.

Then there are other moments that you share when it’s just the two of you, things unfathomable to the outside observer. To most, we are probably ‘The Kuhns’ – Amber; a live wire who keeps things….fresh (as I like to call it. Others may call it interesting.) 🙂 Dave; a well-educated man who knows what he is talking about and balances the relationship. Then there are ‘The Kuhns’, when it’s just the two of us, which is probably closer to the truth. Dave; a well-educated man who knows what he is talking about, balances the relationship but also sumo wrestles me and gets great joy out of toilet humor. Then there’s me, Amber; a live wire that keeps things fresh and creates new animal characters who come to life at any given time, especially to win an argument… yep, definitely silly. However, when it’s the two of us, it makes sense (most of the time!) 🙂

It’s in these moments that we let go of our inhibitions and what’s the ‘sensible’ thing to do. Love was created for passion but also being able to be silly. It’s these things you share that bond you together.

What are the things that you and your loved one share? The things that bring a stupid grin on your face and thought in your head “I hope no-one is watching!” Hold onto these precious moments. Just like passion, it’s these silly moments that count!

The joy of a soul mate…

“Can miles truly separate you from friends….If you want to be with someone you love, aren’t you already there?”

– Richard Bach

I was thinking about this quote, and to some extent, I agree. Though largely I disagree.

Two months ago I moved from Sydney, Australia and I have been living in San Francisco with my husband Dave, and his business partner, also called Dave. (Dave squared as I like to call them). It was two months ago that I left my family and friends and went to a place where I knew no-one.

I am more than grateful for technological advances such as Skype, where at a moments notice you are back in the familiar living rooms, having face to face time with the ones you love.

The past two months have been an exciting, scary, exhilarating and joyous time. To be honest, it has been one of the best things I have ever done. From learning new cultures and idiosyncrasies, finding my way around while driving on the other side of the road to changing my name from “Amba” (as the Aussies would say it) to “AJ” so I am not asked 3 times in an awkward introduction what my name actually is.

On the other hand, it’s been a time of looking at friendships new and old and seeing who has ‘stuck around’. For those of you who have lived abroad, you will know this time that comes. The people who you thought would be around forever and would be in contact each and every day seem to be distracted with their day to day lives, and if you’re not there with a thumb in their diary, you become an after thought.

Then there are the wonderful surprises, which are the people who you thought were good acquaintances but you never realized the impact you had on these people. I have had 3 or 4 of these moments. Be it a Skype call, emails back and forth or just a note “I’m thinking of you”. These have been such a beautiful thing in my life over the past two months.

Then, thirdly, there is a soul mate. This is where I can agree and disagree with Richard’s sentiments. Yesterday at 11:00am there was a feeling inside of me that I haven’t been able to experience over the past two months. This was the time that I saw my bestest friend walk through the arrival terminal at the airport. She was no longer a smiling face on my computer screen, no longer an email or words on a page. There is something about that moment when you are face to face and in the flesh that can’t be replaced or bridge those distant miles. There was never any question about the distance and whether the friendship would sustain itself. There is that quiet contentment that through thick and thin, moments of joy and moments of sadness that there is someone in the world to walk this road with you. How nice it is all the more when you’re walking side by side!

There really is nothing that can replace human contact is there? Although there is technology and ‘social networking’, there’s something magical and I think irreplaceable about being face to face with the ones you love.

Are you caught in the (inter)web of social media contact? When was the last time you reached out and contacted a friend who is living away from you or meet up with a loved one face to face? Who is walking this life with you side by side?

A soul mate is…someone whose way of viewing life is not necessarily the same as yours but complements yours, so that there is not a compromise, there is a complement.
Paul Robear